Unto Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -JaneDear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -NanDear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -NeilDear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -JaneDear God, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother! -DarlaDear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -JoyceDear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend. (But I am not going to tell you who I am)Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. -Tom L.Dear GOD, Please more...

In the Beginning was The Plan
And then came The Assumptions
and The Assumptions were without Form
And The Plan was completely without Substance.
And The Darkness was upon The Face of The Workers.
And they spoke amongst themselves, saying
"It is a Crock of Shit, and it stinketh."
And The Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a Pail of Dung and none may abide in the odor thereof."
And The Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them
"It is a Container of Excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And The Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a Vessel of Fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And The Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids Plant Growth, and it is very strong."
And The Directors went unto The Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It more...

Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -Jane
Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me.-Love, Alison
Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -Lucy
Dear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -Anita
Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -Norma
Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -Jane
Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -Nan
Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -Neil
Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -Jane
Dear GOD, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. -Darla
Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby more...

In the beginning was the Plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance
And darkness was upon the faces of the workers
And they spake unto their Group Heads, and sayeth:
"It is a crock, and it stinketh!"
And the Group Heads went unto their Section Heads, and sayeth:
"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odour thereof."
And the Section Heads went unto their Managers, and sayeth unto them:
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went to their Director, and sayeth unto him:
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Director went unto his Vice-President, and sayeth:
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Vice-President went unto the President, and sayeth unto more...

Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? -JaneDear GOD, I read the Bible. What does 'begat' mean? Nobody will tell me.-Love, AlisonDear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? -LucyDear GOD, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? -AnitaDear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? -NormaDear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now? -JaneDear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries? -NanDear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? -NeilDear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. -JaneDear GOD, Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. -DarlaDear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. -JoyceDear more...

In The Beginning was The Plan.
And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness was
upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves,
saying... "It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and
sayeth, "It is a pile of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that
none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, "It is a
vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto
them, "It more...

In The Beginning was The Plan.And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without formAnd the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness wasupon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves, saying... "It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh." And the workers went unto their Supervisors andsayeth, "It is a pile of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such thatnone may abide by it."And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, "It is avessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth untothem, "It promotes growth and is very powerful."And the Vice Presidents went unto more...