Urgent Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."
The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it's urgent! I'll do anything to get a message to her."
The clerk replies "Anything?"
"Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.
He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him and unzip his pants."
She does. "Take it out", says the clerk."
She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead and do it..."
She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"

It was 3. 30 pm on the very last day of the ongoing test
match when there was an urgent call for INFOSYS and it was from no
other than the SRI LANKA CRICKET BOARD.
I picked up the receiver: "Hello? This is INFOSYS ".
Frantically came a voice "This is the Secretary of Board of Cricket
Control of Sri Lanka. We have got a serious problem."
" What's it? " asked I. There came the reply:
" Our scoreboard, though electronic, is a bit old one. It can show
only three digits. And the pace with which
De Silva is scoring runs, 1000 will be scored any time.
After that, Lanka will be scoring from zero again, as it will look!!"
I immediately met my bosses and an urgent meetting was
called. After it was over, it was clear that INFOSYS cannot give the
solution within one hour as per their request.
"So", I told him, " Please tell De Silva to get out and Lanka to
finish their more...