Urine Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banta had been in the hospital for days. His nurse was extremely annoying and he couldn't take much more.
One day during breakfast, he took his apple juice container and poured it into a urine specimen cup the nurse had insisted he fill.
The nurse came in to check on him and looked at the specimen glass.
In her annoying voice, she snickered, "It seems we are a little cloudy today."
Banta put on his angry face, snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank it down in a few quick gulps, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again and maybe it will come out clearer this time."

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.
At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.
The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. "That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. "That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"

A man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor. His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a
computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and
cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the
computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do
about it. It only costs $10. 00." The man figured he had nothing to lose,
so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding
the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The
computer started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which
was printed:

You have tennis elbow

Soak your arm in warm water.

Avoid heavy labor

It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology more...

One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00." The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise andvarious lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to more...

Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man, and from time to time the young nurse would come in and say in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing this morning?"
Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, and had taken the juice off the tray, putting it on his stand. Now, he had been given a urine bottle to fill - the juice was apple juice; you know where the juice went.
The nurse came in, picked up the urine bottle and said, "It seems we are a little cloudy today..." At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of her hand, and drank the contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again, maybe I can filter it better this time."

Bob complained to his friend "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10. 00."
Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy labor It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be more...