Usa Jokes / Recent Jokes

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.

That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly a Sardar replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word.
Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT... WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA? ????"

While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the popes authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph, when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo, with a VIP inside it. The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?"The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."Then the chief asked "Is it the governor?"The policeman answered: "No, someone more important than the governor."The chief finally asked: "Is it the President?"The policeman answered: "No, someone even more important than the President."This made the chief very angry and he bellowed: "Now who is m ore important than the President?!"The more...

A Journalist has to write a story on the lack of meat in Poland. So he goes off to Poland and asks the people: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Poles reply: "Meat? What is meat?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in Poland he goes to the USSR and asks the Soviets: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Soviets reply: "Think? What is think?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USSR he goes to the USA and asks the Americans: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" All the Americans reply: "Lack? What is lack?" Seeing he cannot get an answer in the USA he decides to go to Israel, and asks the Israelis: "Excuse me, what do you think of the lack of meat in Poland?" To which all the Israelis reply: "Excuse me? What is excuse me?"

Wife: Do u want any thing from usa?
Husband: Yaa... English girl wife return 4m usa
Husband: Where is my gift?
Wife: Wait for 9months...

An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreignexchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100, 000Rpsand after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50. 45 witha typical "service" smile and "Have a nice day!"The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with anotherwad of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100, 000Rps and put his handout for his $50. 45, instead he received $48. 78. He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less! !??" Whereupon the cashier replied"Fluctuations!"He screamed back "FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!" I'm going back to Delhi!!!

Did you know, I was reading about an enormous factory in the USA where there is only ONE MAN working - I know what you're thinking - we've got enormous factories where NOBODY'S working - but this one is different - it's got an end product: it is completely automated to make torch batteries, and the only employee is an old rabbi who stands at the end of the conveyor belt and as the batteries go past he says, "I wish you long life! I wish you long life!"