Usual Jokes / Recent Jokes

Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club (work with me here).
The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?"
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with."
They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?"
His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!"
"No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball."
Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?"
His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar.
Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps more...

It was the usual scene in the city's night court; the police had rounded up the usual collection of street walkers and brought them before the judge. Three hookers stood before him, all
arrested on the same corner. He asked the first lady what she had to say for herself.The woman was irate and yelled out, "I don't know what all this is about, your
Honor. I'm a college student doing research for a term paper!"The Judge sighed and said, "Well miss, I would have thought you'd done enough 'research' by now. My computer says you have two prior convictions. Thirty days and a $250 fine." He then turned to the second lady and requested that she testify. The woman began crying softly and said, "Judge, I am just a housewife out getting a pack of cigarettes for my husband. I have no idea why I was arrested."This time, the judge shook his head and said, "Well, young lady, the officer tells me that he saw you hand a stack of bills along with the more...

I woke up early feeling a little depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought, "Another year older", but decided to make the best of it.

So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say Happy Birthday, dear.

All smiles, I went into breakfast and there sat my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn''t say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee and thought to myself, oh well, she just forgot.

The kids will be in in a few minutes all cheery and they will sing Happy Birthday and have a nice gift for me. There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited.

Finally the kids came running in yelling, "Give me a slice of toast", "I''m late", "Where is my coat", and "I''m going to miss the bus". Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office.

When I walked into the office, my secretary greeted me with a smile more...

Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave, how ya doing?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser".
"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi Davey," she says, "Want your usual table dance?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she more...

Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.
The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?"
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with."
They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?".
His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!". "No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball".
Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?".
His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger more...

Baked Beans
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other.
He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing.
The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?"
Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?"
"Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat and shot the canary."

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says,' 'Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.' 'Oh no,'' says Dave.' 'He's on my bowling team.'' When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says,' 'You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.''' 'No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave.' 'Hi, Davey,'' she says,' 'Want your usual table dance?'' Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him. more...