Vacations Jokes

When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide.

While we were around our campfire in the evening the local Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend always stuck in my mind.

It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one another from years before.

There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant Indian love calls to each other... even though they were warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it. One day they just could not stand more...

Last year Mrs JimJr and I took separate vacations. I cleaned out the garage, while she straightened up the basement.
Mrs JimJr is something to take on vacation anyway. I swear!!! That woman is descended from Noah. She takes two of everything.
Last time we went down to Hilton Head in South Carolina, we got lucky and made real good time. The main highway was open while the detour was being repaired.
I once worked with a very attractive single girl who loved to go on vacation. Each year when Rene returned, she'd give ya a beau-by-beau account of her two weeks.
Italy was fantastic. Rome took my breath away. Venice left me speechless. And then there was Florence... she got me for over $500 in Traveler's Checks.
Mrs JimJr seems to feel one should get their money's worth on vacation. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to frolic every minute or not. But once when I was sitting in a beach chair on the sand, she came out of the surf and said, "This is costing us $300 a day - more...

For four years, the young lawyer had been spending his vacations at this country inn. The last time, he had even managed to have an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.
Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant child on her lap.
"Claire, why didn't you write when you found out your were pregnant?" he exclaimed. "I would have rushed up here immediately. We could have gotten married and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she replied, "when my parents found out about my condition, we sat up all night talking and talking, and it was decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

Men are like vacations...They never seem to last long enough.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.