Vacuum Jokes / Recent Jokes

A door-to-door vacuum salesman knocks, and an old lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and empties a bucket of horse poop over her hall carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't clean up every last speck of that, I'll eat it."
"Do you want a spoon?" she asks, "We've only moved in this morning and the electricity's not on yet."

Yo Momma's like a vacuum, she sucks, she blows, and she gets laid in the closet.

The media attention given John Glenn's mission has convinced NASA to give more celebrities a shuttle ride in the name of science.
Who should be next, and why?
George Michael - "Friction in a Weightless Environment."
Hanson - "Analysis of the *_Mmmmm-Bop_* Comet."
Dan Quayle - "Vacuum vs. Vacuum: Which is Emptier?"
Pamela Anderson Lee - "Survey of Heavenly Bodies."
(original source unknown)

Your momma is like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.

"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse shit onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my more...

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet.
He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it."
She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"
The salesman says, "Why do you ask?"
She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."