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If Microsoft was jewish. .. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklempt". "Year 2000" issues are replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Dreidels". Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already - You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!". When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's tuchis". Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!". Internet Explorer would now have a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right more...
1. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Verklemmt". 2. When you fill up your "C-drive", you will get a "Hard Drive is Schtopped" message. 3. Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Draydles". 4. Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings. 5. CD-ROM's would be rendered obsolete with the invention of high compression DVB's (digital video bagels). 6. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button. 7. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!". 8. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's toukhes" 9. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!" 10. During Passover, your PC would more...
If Microsoft were Jewish:
1. Your PC would shut down automatically on Friday evenings.
2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let`s go. I`m not getting any younger." button.
3. RETRY would be replaced with "You vant I should try again?"
4. When disconnecting external devices from your PC, instructions would say "Remove from your PC`s tuchis the cable ".
5. Your CD player would be labelled "Nu, so play my music already.".
6. You would hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
7. SCANDISK prompts you with, "You vant I should fix?" message.
8. When your PC is mult-tasking, you would occasionally hear an "Oy Gevult."
9. Manischewitz would advertise that its "monitor cleaning solution" gets rid of the "schmutz" on your screen.
10. After 20 minutes in an idle state, your PC would go "Schloffen."
11. All computer viruses would more...
Three vampires sit down at a table in a bar and order drinks.
The first vampire says "I vant some blood!"
The second vampire says "I vant some blood, too!"
The third vampire says "Just plasma for me, please."
The waitress takes the order, walks over to the bar and yells "Two bloods and a blood lite!"
If Microsoft was jewish...
Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklempt".
"Year 2000" issues are replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Dreidels".
Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.
Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
"Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already - You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!".
When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's tuchis".
Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!".
Internet Explorer would now have a spinning more...