Vas Jokes

Der next night vas Christmas
Der night it vas still
Der stockings ver hung
By der shimney to fill.
Nothing vas sturring
At all in der Haus
For fear dot St. Nicklaus
Vos nichts komm heraus.
Der shuldren vas tucked
Away in der betts
And Mama in her nacht gown
And I on ahead
Vas searching around
In her trunk for der toys
Ve krept round quiet
To not make der noise.
Now Mama was carrying
Der toys in her gown
Showing her person
Von up her vaist down.
Wenn as ve komm near
Der crib uff our boy
Our youngest, our sweetest
Our pride und our joy.
His eyes opened vider
As he peeked from his cot
And seen everything
Dot his Mutter has got.
But he didn't take notice
Der toys in her lap
But chust asked
"For who is dot lettle fur cap?"
His mudder said "Hush!"
And she laught mit delight
"I tink I give more...

A father, visiting America, from Europe for the very first time, goes up and down the isles with his son at the local Giant Food Store.

"Vas diss? Powdered Orange Juice?"

"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh' orange juice.'". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und vas dis? Powdered milk?? "

"Yeh, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!". .. A few minutes later, in a different aisle. .. "Und give a look here! Baby Powder! Vat a country, vat a country!"

Der night next vas Christmas
Der Night it vas still;
Der shtockings ver hung
By der chimney to fill.
Noddink vas shturring
At all in der house
For fear do Saint Nicholas
Vas nix komm heraus.

Der childrun ver dried
Und gone to der bed
Und mutter in nightgown
Und I on ahead
Vas searching around
In der trunk for der toys
Und ve crept around kviet
Not to make any noise.

Now mutter vas carrying
All der toys in her gown
Und showink her person
From up her vaist down
Venn as ve komm near
Der crip uff our boy
Our youngest und shveetest
Our pride und our choy.

His eyes ver vide open
As he peeked from his cot
Und seen efferytink dot
His mutter has got.
But he didn't even notice
Der toys in her lap.
He chust asked, "Vot is
Dat liddle fur cap?"
Und mutter said, "Hush"
Und den laffed mit more...

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Norwegian scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Norwegian paid for the drinks.
Back in Sioux Falls the Norwegian went into the bar and spotted one of his cronies.
"Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, you have to buy me vun. Fair enough?"
"Fair enough," said more...

Der next night vas Christmas
Der night is vas schtill
Der stockings vas hung
By der chimney to fill.

Der shildren vas snuggled
All up in der bed
And mama in nightgown
And I up ahead...

Vas searchink around
In der dark for der toys
Ve krept around kviet
Not to make any noise.

Und mudder vas carrying
Der toys in her gown
Showink her person
From up her vaist down.

Und ven she came near
Der crib of our boy
Our youngest und sveetest
Our pride und our choy...

His eyes vide open
As he peeked from his cot...
Und seen everythink
Dot his mudder has got!

He didn't even notice
Der toys in her lap...
He chust asked,
"For whom ist dot little fur cap?"

Und mudder said "hush"
Und she laughed mit delight...
I tink I give dat
To your father tonight!