Venomous Jokes

NAME: Trouser Snake (Expetirious Trouseris)

LOCATION; Throughout the world.

DESCRIPTION:

One eyed with mushroom-shaped head (others types may come with extra layers of skin)

*Varying from pink to black.

*Fang-less with a highly venomous spit (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet).

*Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.

SYMPTOMS; This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.

*WARNING* BEWARE: It has been know to attack men in the lower abdomen!!!!!!!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms. Likes dark damp caves. but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccines are available for women. However once the venom is injected into the body only drastic more...

NAME:' Expecteria Trouserius' (Trouser Snake, also known as well, uhum. . Dick?)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) * Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species. Usually used by the male species instead of brains.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will more...

NAME: Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)
LOCATION: Throughout the world
DESCRIPTION: Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood and sub-species.
SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen, resulting in an incurable disease and consequent death.
HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in unusual places.
ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED
TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: more...