Aggressive Jokes

Name: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
Location: Throughout the world
Description: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra
layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous
spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12
inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.
Symptoms: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware:
It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
Habitat: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most
unusual places.
Antidote: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the
venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete
recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
What To Do more...

A vicious German Shepherd dog lived at one house on the mail man's route. The dog was so aggressive the letter carrier feared he would be bitten and the U.S. Postal Service was forced to suspend mail delivery to protect their employee.
After several weeks of having to pick up their mail at the Post Office, the dog's owner took steps to solve the problem.
He met the mail man out on the sidewalk and told him he would no longer have to fear the dog being so aggressive because they had its testicles removed.
"You've got to be kidding," said the letter carrier, "why didn't you have his teeth removed? I wasn't afraid of him screwing me!"
Lyle's Joke Boutique.

How many Passive Aggressive P. D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Oops. I cant believe I broke the last one. I guess youll have to sit in the dark.

How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Oops.I can't believe I broke the last one. I guess you'll have to sit in the dark.

The husband was disturbed by his wife's indifferent attitude towards him and the marriage counselor suggested he try being more aggressive in his lovemaking.
"Act more like a romantic lover and less like a bored spouse," he was advised. "When you go home, make love to her as soon as you meet -even if it is right inside the front door."
At the next consultation, the adviser was pleased to hear that the husband had followed instructions. "And how did she react this time?" the consultant asked.
"Well, to tell the truth," the husband replied, "she was still sort of indifferent. But one thing I've got to admit: Her bridge club went absolutely wild!"