Ventriloquist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young ventriloquist is touring the Southwest and stops to entertain in an Arkansas bar. He's going through his usual stupid redneck jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stands up and says threateningly, "I've heard just about enough of your smart mouth hillbilly jokes - we ain't all stupid here in Arkansas!" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy interrupts him and says, "You stay out of this mister- I'm talking to the smart mouth little fella on your knee!"

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he’ll have a little fun…
Cowboy: “Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him? ”
Indian: “Dog no talk. ”
Cowboy: “Hey dog, how’s it going? ”
Dog: “Doin’ alright. ”
Indian: shows extreme look of shock
Cowboy: “Is this Indian your owner? ” pointing at Indian.
Dog: “Yep”
Cowboy: “How does he treat you? ”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play. ”
Indian: shows look of disbelief
Cowboy: “Mind if I talk to your horse? ”
Indian: “Horse no talk. ”
Cowboy: “Hey horse, how’s it going? ”
Horse: “Cool. ”
Indian: extreme look of shock
Cowboy: “Is this your owner? “pointing at Indian.
Horse: “Yep. ”
Cowboy: “How’s he treat you? ”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me more...

In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY! You`ve been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Cut it out!" And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. They`re only jokes!" And the guy says, "I`m not talking to you, I`m talking to that little guy sitting on your knee!"

You are so stupid, if you were a ventriloquist, you'd be referred to as the dummy.

A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin alright"
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good." He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"
Horse: "Cool."
Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat more...

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting near his pad.
Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?
Indian: Dog no talk.
Cowboy: Hey dog, how's it going?
Dog: Doin' all right.
Indian: [Extreme look of shock]
Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]
Dog: Yep
Cowboy: How's he treating you?
Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.
Indian: [look of disbelief]
Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?
Indian: Horse no talk.
Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going?
Horse: Cool.
Indian: [extreme look of shock]
Cowboy: Is this your owner? [pointing at Indian]
Horse: Yep
Cowboy: How's he treating you?
Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.
Indian: [total look of amazement]
Cowboy: Mind if I talk to more...

A young ventriloquist is touring North India and stops to entertain a gathering in Punjab. He's going through his usual stupid sardar jokes (similar to the ones in the Sirippu web site!), when a big burly sardar in the audience stands up and says "I've heard just about enough of your silly sardar jokes; we aren't all stupid here in Punjab." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy pipes up "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to the stupid little fellow on your knee!"