Ventriloquist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A ventriloquist stops to entertain some people in a small town. He's going through his usual stupid George W. jokes, when George W. himself walks up.
"I've heard just about enough of your denigrating George W. jokes!" He says. "What makes you think you can stereotype me that way? What does a person's knowledge of geography and world politics have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep people like me from being respected at work and in my community. I'm as smart as anyone else and..."
The ventriloquist begins to apologize, when George W. stops him. "You stay out of this, Mister. I'm talking to that little smart aleck on your knee!"

This joke was told to me this past weekend by Estil Vance, who probably
heard it from someone at Johns Hopkins Medical School.
A ventriloquist was driving through the midwest when his car broke down.
He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone. Well,
the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural type, so the ventriloquist
thought it would be possible to have some fun with him. The farmer began
to lead him back to the house.
Along the way, they passed a horse. The ventriloquist said to the farmer,
"Is this your horse?" The farmer replied, "Yep." The ventriloquist asked,
"Can he talk?" The farmer said, "Nope." The ventriloquist then said to the
horse, "So, how do you like it here?" He then threw his voice, and said in
a horse-like voice, "Oh, it's pretty good. Every morning the farmer feeds me
oats." Upon hearing this the farmer was startled and more...

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says: “I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes, Asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person’s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person … because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large … all in the name of humor. ”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, “You stay out of this. Mister, I’m talking to that little bastard on your knee! ”

The ventriloquist
Moishe and his Scotsman friend enter a bar with a group of their friends.
Soon everyone is eating and drinking like it`s going out of style. Eventually, it comes time to pay the bill.
"I`ll Pay!" shouts McTavish and, with a scowl, pays the bill.
The next day, the headline in the Times newspaper reads, "Jewish ventriloquist found murdered in alley."

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun...
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
Indian: shows extreme look of shock
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: shows look of disbelief
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: extreme look of shock
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? "pointing at Indian.
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: more...

A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: 'G'day mate. Good looking dog... mind if l speak to him?'
Local: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid man.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey dog, how's it going old mate?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right.'
Local: (Look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this man your owner?'
Dog: 'Yep.'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.'
Local: (Look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Local: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool.'
Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this your owner?'
Horse: 'Yep.'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat more...