Village Jokes / Recent Jokes

A village headman once noticed a sudden rise in the population of his village. To control it, he requested one of his rich relatives (who was an ardent swadeshi follower) to set up a condom factory near the village. It was done and very soon each unmarried adult male individual started getting condoms for free. But after two years the village headman was shocked to find that his village's population had doubled! After investigations the headman went straight to the relative and gave him a good dressing down saying 'Fool! Everything shouldn't be made of KHADI!'

An investment banker was on the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. His boat was full of beautiful yellow tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on his catch, asking how long it took to catch. The fisherman replied "only a short time." The banker asked why not stay out and catch more. The fisherman replied, "I've enough fish to feed my family."

The banker then asked what did the fisherman do with the rest of his time, he replied, "I will sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening, sip wine with my friends, play my guitar, I have a full and busy life."

The banker was not impressed. "I have a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat and from those increased proceeds you could buy several boats and soon have a fleet. Instead of selling your fish more...

Q: On Groundhog Day, what does it mean if Punxsutawney Phil
comes out and sees the village idiot?
A: Within 6 weeks you'll have a village full of idiots.
Q: What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?
A: He became a pound hog!
Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog with a pistachio?
A: A green beast who predicts a dry spring, and acts like a nut.

There once was a medieval village named Trinsic. This village was being terrorized by a vile monster, the Medicrin. Each night, the Medicrin would stalk down from the hills, and devour one of the villagers. The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to pool their money together to hire the great hero Erik.
Erik came and listened to the complaints of the villagers. He consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that Medicrins love to eat loons. So Erik hunted high and low to find a loon. He found one, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then had the villagers dig a deep pit. Erik threw the loon into the pit, hoping to capture the Medicrin, and slay it.
That night, the Medicrin came... It smelled the loon... But it also smelled DANGER, and it ran off, devouring one of the villagers on the way out.
After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned that more...

A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf.
He's always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and
respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night, despite clear skies, he made the prediction on the 6: 00pm news broadcast that a violent storm was approaching. It would flood the town in which he and his wife lived. He warned the people to take proper precautions and prepare for the worst.
After he arrived home later that evening, his wife met him at the door and started arguing with him that his weather prediction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. This time, she said, he had made a terrible mistake. There
wasn't a cloud anywhere within 10 miles of the village. As a matter of fact, that day had been the most beautiful day that the town had ever had and it was quite obvious to everyone it simply wasn't more...

There was a shortage of rice in Sri Lanka some years ago. Well to do and the able were the selected crowd did enjoyed this luxary. Most others just pretended that they too enjoy the same. Our Village Headman was one of them. As numerous ones visit him rgularly he made it a point to impress them that he is defenitely one who is blessed with this luxary. So every time when some one visit him he apply some cooked grains of rice on his moustache and come forward to impress that he had just enjoyed a good meal of rice.
Once a group of villagers droped in, on some kind of complains. As usual he came forward to meet the group with' rice attachment on his moustache.'
Right then his young son came running to the front of the house and said, "Thaathea, Thaathea that coconut shell you keep rice to place on your moustache before meeting people who come here was knocked by the cat and they are all now coward with ash near the fire place.

It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs.
You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times.
"But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?"
The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES!
And why shouldn't they? They're people, too.
What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too.
Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite the weatherSmurf's direst predictions.
I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur.
In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village more...