Villager Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends? A shepherd.

A man got a kick out of turning simple things into mysteries when composing a letter, though he was not good at all at writing.
One day his father told him to write a letter to his brother and tell him four things:
A villager died not long ago.
The price of meat has gone up.
The household has employed a new accountant.
His brother's wife is going to have a baby.
When the son had finished, however, the letter read: "A villager died not long ago. The meat sold for 179 silver coins. The household has employed a new accountant. My sister-in-law's belly is getting bigger and bigger." He soon got an angry answer from his brother: "Domestic shame should not be made public. How can the flesh of the dead be sold to others?"

There was this village lost in the depth of the Kumaon hills. No one visited it and none of its inhabitants had gone out to see what the rest of the world looked like. Then suddenly one villager won a lottery which gave him a free ticket to see three big cities of India. The entire village was agog with excitement. They gave their co-villager a pen and a pad and said, "You make a note of whatever you see in everyone of the three cities you visit and come and tell us about it when you return."
The lucky villager was first taken to Delhi and shown the Kutub Minar. In his pad he noted down "Kutub Minar". The next city he went to was Jaipur. There he saw many camels and faithfully recorded "camel". The third city was Ahmedabad where he saw lots of donkeys. He recorded "donkey". When he returned to his village, he told everyone of the wonderful things he had seen. Some months later a camel strayed into the village. They ran to the man who had more...

the local vicar and a villager are having a game of golf and the villager gets to put and misses and goes damm missed the buger
and the vicar says if you say that again god will open up the heavens and strike u dead with a lightning bolt the village goes to strike again and misses and goes damm missed the buger the heavens opened up and a lightning bolt struck the vicar and god says damm missed the buger.

A man, forced to live in an Eskimo village, is having a great deal of trouble interacting with the villagers. Finally, he corners one of them and asks why they are ignoring him.
The villager says that he has not been initiated as a man, so he asks what it is he must do in order to be initiated.
"First, you must drink two bottles of Russian Vodka," explains the villager. "You must then enter a cave and kill a polar bear with your bare hands. Finally, to seal your induction into manhood, you must make love with one of our women for eight hours straight."
The man agrees to carry out the requirements.
That night the villagers hold a big party to initiate him. Everyone sits around the fire and they pass him the first bottle of vodka. He drinks the first half of the bottle without too much trouble, but finds the second half a little more difficult. Finally, he finishes it and they hand him the second bottle. Somehow he manages to finish the second bottle more...