Virginia Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Virginia boys, Sonny and Rick, went out hunting and split up. Sonny heard some rustling in the bushes and, by mistake, shot his friend. After trying to remove the bullet, he carried Rick to a doctor. Two hours later, after the physician had patched up the wounded hunter, Sonny asked, "Please, Doc. How's my friend?" "Well," answered the M.D., "he'd be a lot better off if you hadn't taken out his gut!"
(Washington DC) Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
(Virginia) A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
(Washington DC) A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled - leaving his wallet on the counter.
(Virginia) A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle more...
How do we know that the "Toothbrush" was invented in West Virginia? - Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a "Teethbrush".
This joke was told by a woman (didn't get her name) from the West
Virginia Bankers' Association during Comedy Night at Robby's (a local
night club) in Huntington West Virginia:
There was a girl who just started working in a bank. Every day, she
noticed that a very attractive man walked by her office. She discovered
that he was the bank president and that he made quite a lot of money. She
decided that she would like to get to know this man, but she was not
quite sure what to do to get him to ask her out on a date.
She went to her analyst and he gave her some advice. While she was around
this man he suggested that she pretend a string was attached to the top
of her head and that it hung down her left side to her waist. She was to
also to pretend that a penny was attached to the end of the string. When
she walked near this guy she was to pretend to hit the penny with her
left hip. This, stated the analyst, would cause him to notice more...