Visiting Jokes / Recent Jokes

Megs mother was visiting her daughter at camp. How did you find the steak dinner? she asked. With a magnifying glass!

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.
Zasks how she knows if they`re intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It`s me, ma`am."
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes ma`am. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he`d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse more...

US Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school.After fifteen minutes speaking he says: 'I will now answer anyquestions you have.' Bobby stands up and says: 'I have four questions':1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Just then the bell goes and the kids rushed out to play. Upon returning, Mr Ashcroft said: "I am sorry we were interrupted. I will answer any questions you have.' A little girl called Julie stands upand says: 'I have six questions':1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore? 2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden? 3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to limit civil liberties? 4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? 5. Why did the bell ring twenty minutes early? 6. Where is Bobby?

An American couple visiting in a German village stepped into a small shop to look for souvenirs. The woman sneezed.
"Gesundheit" said the clerk.
"Charles," said the American woman to her husband, "we're in luck. There's somebody here who speaks English."

A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman." Hi," he said, "I'm new in town. Can I buy you a drink?" "Get lost," she remarked, "I am Lesbian." "Oh, really?" he asked, "How are things in Beiruit?"

It`s been reported that the FBI is visiting libraries nationwide and checking the reading records of people it finds suspicious. When asked about it, President Bush said `I`ve always been suspicious of people who go to libraries.

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here?" "Around 1. 5 billion" -- the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"