Visiting Jokes / Recent Jokes

MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by."What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon."Fishin'," said MacAndrews."Caught anything?""Ach, nae a bite,""What are ye usin' fer bait?""Worms""Let me see it," said O'Bannon. MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out."Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon."No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"

A man visiting a doctor says; Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.
The doctor replied; but you are not one of my patients.
The man said: I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir.

An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time wasbeing wined and dined by the State Department. The GrandEmir was unused to the salt in American foods (frenchfries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantlysending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water. Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with aglass of water, but then came the time when he returnedempty-handed." Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir." A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One," stammered thewretched Abdul, "white man sit on well."

An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here?""Around 1. 5 billion" -- the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"

Visiting Afghanistan for a second time, a war correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban, wives who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men if this was a sign of growing equality.
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."

Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp.' How did you find the steak dinner?' she asked.' With a magnifying glass!'

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather and he took them to a restaurant for lunch. They couldnt make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, "Just bring them bread and water."One of the little boys looked up and quavered, "Can I have ketchup on it?"