Visitor Jokes / Recent Jokes

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria that defines a patient to be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "after we fill up a bathtub, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub" Would you use the spoon, The teacup or The bucket?
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."
Noooooo," answered the Director, looking at the visitor with new interest.
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"A normal person would pull the drain plug. I recommend you also to be admitted to this place atleast for a short period"

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.
'Well,' said the Director,' we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'
'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor.' A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
'No.' said the Director,' A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?'

YOUNG boy was told that when greeting or saying farewell to a visitor, he should try not to use the same words as used by the visitor. Thus if greeted,' Good morning' or' Good night,' he might say,' How nice to see you' or,' How are you?'
Once a Minister of Government called on the family. As he was leaving, he waved to the boy and said,' Ta, Ta.'
The boy waved his hand and replied,' Birla.'

Visitor: Youre very quiet, Jennifer. Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.

A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.

This happened to an American visitor in Madras. In his hotel room he picked up the telephone one night and asked for a 7-Up. The switchboard operator answered in his best English, "7-Up? Yes, Sir."
The cold drink never arrived, but the next morning the tourist was woken up punctually at seven o'clock.

A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a stranger's home for something to drink.

The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

There was a wee pig running around the kitchen - running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention.

The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.

The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using"