Vital Jokes / Recent Jokes

There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately.
The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
"I'm not sure, but I think she choked".

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

This old couple goes to the doctor for the old man's physical and he can't hear very well. The doctor tells him that the first thing he's going to check is his eyes.
The old man says "What'd he say? What'd he say??"
And the wife says "He wants to check your eyes."
Then the doctor says "Now, I want you to get on the table, I want to check your vital signs."
And the old man says "What'd he say? What'd he say??"
The wife says "He wants you to get on the table, he wants to check your vital signs."
The last thing the doctor says is "I need three things from you: I need a sperm sample, a stool sample and a urine sample."
And the old man says "What'd he say? What'd he say??"
And the wife says "He wants to check your shorts..."

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you put them to where you can't find them.