Waddles Jokes / Recent Jokes

Duck waddles into a bar, hops up on a barstool, asks the bartender (in his best Daffy Duck accent), "Got any duck food?"
"We don't serve duck food in this bar, buddy!" replies the bartender.
"Thorry," the Duck shrugs as he hops down and waddles out.
A few minutes later another duck waddles in, hops on a stool and asks, "Got any duck food?"
Angered, the bartender gets in the little duck's face and barks, "Look bub, we don't serve duck food here, understand?"
"Thhhertainly," says the duck, quickly hopping down and waddling out the door.
Sure enough, within a few more minutes, another duck enters the bar, waddles across the floor and hops up on the stool. The bartender, enraged walks over with a hammer in his hand and confronts the fowl offender. "Look buster! I don't have any duck food, so don't ask, and if you do I'm gonna' hammer your silly beak to that wall over there. Now what'll it more...

So there's this penguin driving across the Nullabour Plain (that's in Australia) and it's a *really* hot day - and that's bad news for a penguin.
So, the penguin is driving and saying "Sheesh" a lot and wiping his brow with his flipper then the car starts acting up! Bumpity bumpity bump...
"Oh great", thinks the penguin. To his relief, there is a service station not too far further along. He drives in, parks his car, hops out and waddles over to the mechanic.
"Can you have a look at my car?", says the penguin, "it's making a funny sound." "Sure" says the mechanic.
"Sheesh," thinks the penguin. "It's so hot!. I think I'll go inside to the air conditioning." So he waddles over and goes inside. He mooches around, flicking through magazines, killing time.
He decides he'll buy an ice cream to help him cool down. Then he goes back out to the car. "Sheesh," he says as he waddles back over the more...