Waking Jokes

Marriage counselor to female client: Maybe your problem is that you've been waking up grumpy every morning.Client: No, I always let him sleep.

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said "What happened to ‘beautiful'? His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!" Animals
Beautiful? "There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because more...

The best part of waking up is folgers in your cup. The best part of waking up is going back to sleep.

Waking up after a restless night, the wife turned to her husband and frowned. "I can't believe itl All night long you kept cursing me in your sleep!"
The husband replied, "Who was sleeping?"

Doctor: What Has Happened To You?
Patient: I Am Feeling Ill. Pls Give Me Some Medicine
Doctor: I Will Give U Three Pills, Eat Them After Sleeping & Before Waking Up.