Walk Jokes / Recent Jokes

While out for an afternoon walk, a priest turns the corner and finds Little Johnny with a hammer, smashing the daylights out of a bunch of ants. The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these damn, fucking ants... I hate these damn, fucking ants."
Taken back by the young boy's language, the priest stops and talks to him, telling him that God doesn't make junk. "Tomorrow I will be coming by again," the priest said, "and if you can tell me three things that God created that are worthless, then I will let you continue killing the ants."
The following afternoon, the priest is out for his walk and comes upon Little Johnny smashing ants again. The priest reminds him of the agreement they made, saying the boy agreed not to kill any more ants unless he could name three things that God created that are worthless.
Little Johnny looks up with a devilish smile and says, "I do know three things that are totally worthless. The first is a dick on a priest, more...

Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper? A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison? A. Shoot one. Q. What's the definition of a minor second? A. Two bagpipes playing in unison. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe. Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline. Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch? A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks. Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded? A. You more...

She tripped over a cordless phone.
She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate.
"
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She sold the car for gas money!

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Interviewer: What is your birth date?
Udurawana: 13th October
Interviewer: Which year?
Udurawana: EVERY YEAR
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Manager asked Udurawana at an interview Can you spell
a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Udurawana replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

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After returning back from a foreign trip, Udurawana asked
his wife, Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Udurawana: In London a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?"

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One tourist from U. S. A. asked Udurawana
"Any great man born in this village???"
Udurawana: no sir, only small Babies!!!
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In the university, lecturer asked to write a note on "Buddha Jayanthi" So more...

Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
War not determine who right, war determine who left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change more...

Pedal-powered dialysis machines.
Use of antibiotics deemed an "unauthorized experimental procedure"
Head-wound victim in the waiting room is on the last chapter of "War and Peace"
You ask for Viagra. You get a popsicle stick and duct tape.
Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
Exam room has a tip jar.
You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
"Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"
Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal thermometers.
"Take two leeches and call me in the morning"
The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip.
Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on Mia Farrow's doorstep.
Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket.
"Pre-natal vitamin" more...

There were two farmers, neither one had much common sense. They were told by their boss to put the mule in the barn.
When they led the mule over to the barn, they decided that the mule's ears were to long and he would not fit into the barn. So they put their heads together and decided to get a ladder and a saw and saw the overhead of the barn out so the mule could walk right on in the barn.
They began their job and the boss walked over to them and asked them why they were sawing out the top of the barn. When they told him the mule's ears were too long to go into the barn, the boss said:
"Why don't you just get a shovel and dig the dirt out of the ground below, then the mule could walk on in"
The two half smarts looked at each other and said "We told you his "ears" are too long, not his feet!