Walk Jokes / Recent Jokes

two blondes went for a walk one day and they
came along some tracks...
the first blonde said
these are horse tracks
the second blonde said
these are cow tracks
they were still arguing when the train hit them.

A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run, r-run will ya!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run, r-r-run will ya!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion forbaked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had avery embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparentthat they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweetand gentle man, but he would never go for this carrying on."So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some monthslater her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she livedin the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a smalldiner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walkoff any ill effects by the time she reached home.So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she hadconsumed three large orders of baked beans. She putt-putted all theway home, and upon arriving home more...

The little camel went to his mother and asked, "Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?"
She looked on him lovingly and replied, "You see, my son, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there's sand everywhere, we need these big eyes to keep an eye on one another so that we don't get lost."
"Oh!" he said. "And why do we have such huge feet?
"Well," she said, "they allow us to walk easily in the dessert sands and help us avoid sinking into the dunes."
"Wow," he said, "great equipment. What the heck is this stuff on our backs for?"
"You see," his mother informed, "we can walk for days, even weeks without food or water, so we use it to store fat during those times. But why do you ask me all these obvious questions?"
"Well, mother," said the young camel, "I was just wondering, if we've got all of this great stuff, what more...

1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
1a. Your graduation lasted 20 minutes.
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home.
2a. You can smell the difference between different animals' manure.
3. You know what 4-H is.
3a. You were in 4-H.
3b. You can walk through the entire county fair in 15 minutes.
4. You ever went to "headlight parties".
4a. Your busiest intersection does not have a stop light.
5. You used to drag "main".
5a. You noticed when there was a new car in town.
6. You said the "f" word and your parents knew within the hour.
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't.
8. You ever went cow-tipping.
9. You have gone to an auction as a social gathering.
10. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the "buyer" for all of the best parties.
11. You have more...

On the subject of Cheers, my favorite setup occurred as follows:
Diane comes in to Cheers and the gang virtually ignores her. Then Norm walks in.
Gang: NORM!!!
Norm: Hello everybody.
Diane: How come you guys can't do that when I walk in?
Sam: You know, you're right Diane. Walk out and come back in.
Diane walks out and then comes back in.
Gang: NORM!!!

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
beans. She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a
very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to
herself, "
He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go
for this carrying on."
She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later her car broke down on the way home from
work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and
told him that she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the
baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would
walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.
So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had
consumed three large orders of more...