Wand Jokes / Recent Jokes

She said,' For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.

The wife answered,' Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:' Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.

During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.


Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.

The fairy waved her wand and boom!. .. the wife had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband''s turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart''s desire.

He paused for a moment, then said, "Well, honestly, I''d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand and boom!. .. he was 90 years old.

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.
During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.
Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.
The fairy waved her wand and boom!... the wife had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart's desire.
He paused for a moment, then said, "Well, honestly, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand and boom!... he was 90 years old.

You Know You're Addicted to Harry Potter When...
1.) You make a wand and try to use it.
2.) You call your least favorite teacher Snape.
3.) You call your favorite teacher Dumbledore.
4.) You wear robes to school or work.
5.) You make "floo powder", get in the fire, and try to go to your friends' house.
6.) You have read all the books more than four times.
7.) You've been bookstore at midnight to get the latest Harry Potter book before all your friends.
8.) You've worn a Harry Potter costume in public.
9.) You have a crush on one of the Harry Potter characters.
10.) You've gotten at least one of your friends addicted to Harry Potter.
11.) You actually caught the "Wand Order" mistake before you heard/read about it.
12.) You are upset at the New York Times for creating a seperate childrens best seller list because of the Harry Potter books.
13.) Using clues in the book, you have attempted to find the exact more...

One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying. "Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo." "Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him. So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant. The witch more...