Warner Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981 "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what. .. is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "This' telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The more...
Submitted by Peggie
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.
"Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18, 000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1, 000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1. 5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, 1949
"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with thebest people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.
"But what... is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." more...
Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs
Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild
Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner Cracker
W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace
3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGood
John Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere Abi
Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm Home
Denison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine
3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney Opera
Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon Pants
Knott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW!
Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota more...
Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J.C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da
Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organsFairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell HoneychildPolygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner CrackerW. R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace3M and Goodyear: New company will be called mmmGoodJohn Deere and Abitibi-Price: new company will be called Deere AbiHoneywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: New company will be called Honey I'm HomeDenison Mines, Alliance and Metal Mining: New company will be called Mine, All Mine3M, J. C. Penney and Canadian Opera Company: New company will be called 3 Penney OperaGrey Poupon and Dockers Pants: New company will be called Poupon PantsKnott's Berry Farm and National organization of Women: New company will be called Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining: New compant will be called Zip Audi Do-Da