Warner Jokes / Recent Jokes

Get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 2006.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and issue forth as: MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.
5. FedEx is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will
become: Knott NOW!
9. Victoria's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new
name: Titty Titty Bang Bang

In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal, the AOL/Netscape deal, and the HP/Compaq deal, here are the next bombshell mergers. Investors should expect the following. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly Warner Cracker. 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da. Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge to become Fairwell Honeychild. Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants will merge to become Poupon Pants. Knott's Berry Farm and National Organization of Women will merge to become Knott NOW.

Due to the recent merger of AOL and Time Warner, AOL members can soon expect the following changes: Time Magazine's next "Man Of The Year" issue will feature Steve Case on the cover as the undisputed winner. This of course will strictly be a coincidence. The standard irritating AOL popups will be replaced by Warner Bros. cartoons. Now, Elmer Fudd will say, "You cwazy wabbit, you've been onwine for 5 minutes and that's way-y-y too long... we're going to boot you off!"The next time that you hear Bugs Bunny say, "Eh, what's up Doc?" he will be referring to your monthly AOL subscription charge.

The Pittsburg Steelers today admitted that they played in the Super Bowl even though their quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, had at least two small rib fractures which are really, really painful. Not to be outdone, the Cardinals admitted that they played in the Super Bowl even though their quarterback Kurt Warner, is really, really old.