Wash Jokes / Recent Jokes

John and Claire are just newly married. They are still a little shy about doing the "wild thing", so they decide to just refer to it as "washing the clothes". One night, Claire invites some of her friends over for dinner, but John is really horny and doesn't want to have to entertain their guests. So, as Claire is serving the main course, he whispers in her ear, "Let's go wash the clothes". Claire is horrified that he could even suggest such a thing while they're entertaining, and she refuses. John tries again, but she won't give in. Claire tells him instead to go upstairs and get the candleholders from the hall closet. Frustrated, John slowly walks up the stairs to get them.While he's upstairs, Claire thinks of the fun they'd have if they COULD "wash the clothes". Nah, she thinks. Not now. But eventually her imagination gets the best of her, and she tells the maid to run upstairs and tell John that she'll be up in a minute to help him. The maid more...

A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by reciting the letters,
"T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said, as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "S-H-I-T: Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
More Blonde Q & A
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?
That's the proper place to wash vegetables.
What is a Blondes favorite nursary rhyme?
Hump me more...

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 beer
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My second wife is dead.
FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 sex
66 napping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive."
FAVORITE FANTASY
17 getting to third
25 airplane sex
35 menage a trois
48 taking the company public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
HOUSE PET
17 roaches
25 stoned-out college roommate
35 Irish setter
48 children from his first marriage
66 Barbi
WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET more...

How many Price Chopper employees does it take to wash a table?
Three; one to wash it and two to supervise.

An Indian a newfie and a white man were all at a bar drinking.
After a few drinks they all needed to go to the bathroom.
They lined up at the urinals and did their thing.
The Newfie finished first and walks over to the sinks and was his hands.
The white man finished second and also went over to the sink to wash his hands.
The Indian finished and went right back out to order another beer.
The newfie and the white man came out and approached the indian and asked: why dont you wash you hands after taking a piss, that is so disgusting?
The Indian looks at him and says: My mother taught me not to pee on my hands.

1- You can enjoy a beer all month long.
2- Beer stains wash out.
3- You don't have to wine and dine beer.
4- Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football.
5- When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
6- Beer is never late.
7- A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
8- Hangovers go away.
9- Beer labels come off without a fight.
10- When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
11- Beer never has a headache.
12- You don't have to drive a beer home in the morning.
13- A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer.
14- If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
15- A beer always goes down easy.
16- You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
17- You can share a beer with your friends.
18- You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
19- Beer is always wet.
20- Beer doesn't demand more...

One Man Goes To A Hotel To Eat. After Eating He Goes To Wash His Hands. When He Goes There He Starts To Clean The Sink, Why?
Ans: Because He Reads The Board "Wash Basin"