Washed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.The first man had married a woman from Kansas and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were washed and put away.The second man had married a woman from Alabama. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was cleaned, dishes were done and she had a huge dinner on the table.The third man had married a West Virginia girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second more...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.

The first man had married a woman from Penn. and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house.

He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from West Virginia. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking.

He told them that the first day he didn''t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes was done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Texas girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her more...

My wife just left, and the well went dry.
My horse is sick and about to die.
Then my still blew up and the barn burned down,
And the road washed out on the way to town.
Then my dog got rabies and bit the cat,
And they both died soon after that.
Now I lost my specs, and my pipe-stem broke,
So I can't even sit and read and smoke.
A tree fell on the chicken shed,
And most of the hens got smashed plumb dead.
Then a chimney fire took half of a wall,
And this old shack is about to fall.
Then I caught my heel on an old dead vine,
And sat smack dab on a porcupine.
Then a beaver dam broke and my bridge washed out,
And my watch stopped working and I've got the gout.
And the bank foreclosed, so I've lost my place,
And my cow disappeared without a trace.
They cut off my credit at the grocery store,
And I lost my job and a whole lot more.
I must have been hexed by a triple curse,
As things keep going from bad to more...

Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to
my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.""Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"

a) It's an excepted belief by most, that another's dog enters someone's house they always cannot find a stick to beat the animal. Then when the stick or the broom is available no dog rushes in. But when the beating stick is on hand it's always the Village Headman's Dog!

b) A mother with her young son after bath at the river asked the son to go early and she would wash the balance clothes and come later. However, she gave her wrap around cloth having washed to put on the line once he reach home; so it would be dry on her return.
The young son placed the washed cloth of his mother, on the head and kept walking slowly on the edge of the paddyfield.
Right in front of him was the Village Headman, who asked him what's on his head.
The boy answered, "Ammage Reddha!" (Mother's Cloth).
Over his reply, the angered Village Headman slapped him and warned him for' disrespecting him with fould language!"