Washed Jokes

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
Jimmie had married a woman from Canada.
He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.
He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better.
By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal.
He said the first day he more...

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.The first man had married a woman from Kansas and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the dishes were washed and put away.The second man had married a woman from Alabama. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was cleaned, dishes were done and she had a huge dinner on the table.The third man had married a West Virginia girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second more...

A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well, so they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.
The girl looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist."
Flabergasted, the guy responded, "Yes, that's amazing. How did you figure that out ?"
The girl said, "Easy. You keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another, so they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. After they were done, the girl said, "You must be a great dentist!"
The guy was very very surprised, and said, "Yes, I sure am a great dentist, How did you figure that out?"
The girl replied, "Easy. I didn't feel a thing!"

This anecdote is about two Indians settled in England. One had been living there for some years and had picked up some of their quaint euphemisms. The other, a recent settler, was as yet unaware of them. They were invited for dinner by their English friends. After they had had their drinks, their hostess asked them,' Would you like a wash before I serve dinner?'
The knowledgeable one replied,' No thanks.' The new settler replied, i washed my hands before I came.'
On their way back after dinner, the older settler admonished his friend,' My dear chap, in England "would you like a wash" does not mean "would you like to wash your hands". It is a polite way of asking, "would you like to urinate?"' The new settler made a mental note of it.
Some days later he was invited by another English friend and after he had had his drinks he was asked by his hostess:' Would you like a wash before I serve dinner?'
He replied promptly,' No, thank you, more...

a) It's an excepted belief by most, that another's dog enters someone's house they always cannot find a stick to beat the animal. Then when the stick or the broom is available no dog rushes in. But when the beating stick is on hand it's always the Village Headman's Dog!

b) A mother with her young son after bath at the river asked the son to go early and she would wash the balance clothes and come later. However, she gave her wrap around cloth having washed to put on the line once he reach home; so it would be dry on her return.
The young son placed the washed cloth of his mother, on the head and kept walking slowly on the edge of the paddyfield.
Right in front of him was the Village Headman, who asked him what's on his head.
The boy answered, "Ammage Reddha!" (Mother's Cloth).
Over his reply, the angered Village Headman slapped him and warned him for' disrespecting him with fould language!"