Wave Jokes / Recent Jokes

The heat wave
One hot summer’s day in Golders Green, Jack Gold steps out of his shower and says to his wife, Hette, “It’s just too hot to wear any clothes today, honey. What do you think the neighbours would say if I mowed the lawn without anything on?”
Hette replies, “That I married you for your money.”

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sings "Silent Night".
Age 5:
I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
Age 7:
I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
Age 9:
I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
Age 12:
I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
Age 14:
I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
Age 15:
I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
Age 24:
I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
Age 26:
I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
Age 29:
I've learned that if someone says something unkind about more...

How do you get a one-armed nufie out of a tree? Wave!
How do you get a two-armed nufie out of a tree? Wave both hands!

How do you get a one-armed nufie out of a tree? Wave! How do you get a two-armed nufie out of a tree? Wave both hands!

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

How young can you die of old age?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

On the other hand... You have different fingers.

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Women... Can't live with' em... Can't shoot' em.

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

A little old Jewish lady has taken her young grandson to the beach. He is playing in the shallow water. She is standing on the beach not wanting to get her feet wet, when all of a sudden, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly over the spot where the little boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. He has simply vanished into the sea.

The grandmother raises her hands high up toward the sky, screams and
cries, "Lord, how could you take him? Have I not been a wonderful grandmother? Have I not been a wonderful mother? Have I not given to Bnai Brith? Have I not given to Hadassah? Have I not lit candles every Friday night at dusk? Have I not tried my very best to live the life that you would have me live?"

A loud voice booms down from the sky, "Okay, okay, already!"

A few seconds later another huge wave appears out of nowhere and crashes on the beach. As the water recedes, the little boy is more...

Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.Two words: Chicken suit.Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.Laugh a lot. A whole lot.Stop at the green lights.Go at the red ones.Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.Eat food that requires silverware.Pass cars, then drive very slowly.Sing without having the radio on.Honk frequently without motivation.Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.Ask people for Grey Poupon.Let pedestrians know who's boss.Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.Restart your car at every stop light.Hang numerous more...