Wear Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.Then as she was about to leave the house, she had paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"

He said...
"I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it."
She said....
"You wear pants don't you?"
~~~
He said...
"Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
She said....
"That's a good idea-you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!"
~~~
He said...
"What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?"
She said...
"Turn sideways and look in the mirror!"
~~~
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll
of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
~~~
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are
sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
~~~
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where
her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
~~~
Q. Why are married women heavier than single
women?
A. Single women come home, see more...

Why wont a witch wear a flat cap? Because theres no point in it.

My penis is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn`t so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.

He said.. I don't know why you wear a bra you've got nothing to put in it. She said..You wear briefs, don't you He said.. Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune? She said.. Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money. She said.. What do you mean by coming home half drunk? He said.. It's not my fault.. I ran out of money. He said.. Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She said.. Well, you succeeded. He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you She said.. Turn sideways and look in the mirror. He said.. Let's go out and have some fun tonight. She said.. Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on. He said.. Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said.. I would, but you're never there. He said.. Shall we try a different position tonight? She said.. That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

He said...I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it. She said...You wear briefs don't you?

10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear briefs, don't you?
9) She said... What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault... I ran out of money.
8) He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said... Well, you succeeded.
7) He said...' Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'
6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere.."
Written just below it: "I do not."
5) He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. "
4) Priest...' I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'
3) He said... What have you been doing with all the more...