Weather Jokes / Recent Jokes
Due to the current financial status of the company, all employees are encouraged to adopt the following cost cutting measures.
LODGING - All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
TRANSPORTATION - Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.
MEALS - more...
What do you call a minor bird accident?
A feather bender.
Why did the duck go ring-ring?
He got a phone bill.
What did the little bird say to the big bird?
Peck on someone your own size.
What do you call a formal dance for ducks?
A fowl ball.
What kind of ducks rob banks?
Safe quackers.
Why was the duck unhappy?
His bill was in the mail.
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Why did the pigeon need to get out?
He was cooped up at home all week.
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Which bird does construction work?
The crane!
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Which birds work underground?
Myna (miner) birds.
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What kind of doctor treats a duck?
A quack doctor!
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What kind of weather excites a pet duck?
Fowl weather, of course!
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What holiday is strictly observed by all birds?
Feather's Day!
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Where can birds play professional baseball?
In the mynah leagues!
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How can you tell a miser more...
If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.
Who is it that everybody listens to but nobody believes? The weatherman.
Why cant meteorologists forecast the weather?-They are too busy studying comets and meteors
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because then the children have to play inside.