Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes
Saw a book titled "Anxiety and Depression For Dummies" yesterday in the store... Not sure it's the brightest idea to label someone looking for mental health help a "dummy".
In Minneapolis, a 2-year-old boy somehow removed a gun from his mother's purse and shot his father. Well, listen, if this kid wants another graham cracker, he wants another graham cracker.
An Al Qaeda suicide bomber made an attempt on a Saudi Prince this week by smuggling a one pound bomb and detonator inside his rectum, although the attempt did fail, it has been reported that Richard Gere has joined Al Qaeda.
The cow from the Ever-Green-View Farm in eastern Wisconsin has set a new national milk production record.--8,400 gallons of milk in one year. The holstein surpassed the previous record for milk production in one year held by Octomom.
George CarlinAds in Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your billsnow? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels... I write, "Could you throw this away for me? Thank you." --------------------------------------------------------------Fabric Softener: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women were coming up to me (sniff)' Married' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory. You can take off that ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes. - ----------------------------------------------------------------CripesMy wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like' Cripes.' For Cripe's sake. Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of' Gosh?' of the church of' Holy Moly.' I'm not making fun of more...
This just in to the news desk--A thirty-nine year old German man has married his dying, asthmatic cat. The couple honeymooned afterwards and apparently got a Little Friskie.