Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes

In 5th grade we had a new kid in the class, Mei Chung, from China. The teacher explained he knew no English but was learning fast. She told us that he'd have trouble with the sound of the letter L and said he'd sound like he was saying the letter R. He was likeable and did okay. I was thinking of Mei Chung recently. Figured he must be an engineer, and I couldn't help but wonder how he spoke of Obama's election.

I grew up in a very conservative town where the promise rings and class rings were often sold side by side. So the girls were basically saying, “Mom and Dad, I promise not to be a slut until I graduate.”

Incredibly, customers could not taste the difference.

I visited my brother way out in the Ozarks. I was sitting on his porch at the end of the day looking out west and the sky was red and gold and purple and it was SO amazingly beautiful.

You don't see a sky like that in the big city.

The neighbor's meth lab exploded.

Leaders of Scientology have said that Tom Cruise is the "chosen one" to spread news about the faith, and that he will be worshipped like Jesus by future generations.
Ok, but can't he take his proselytizing ass to the Middle East? That's where they could use a new religion! We already know the Jews won't listen, but perhaps the Muslims...

...retailers are reporting that the 3 most popular Halloween costumes for 2009 are Harry Potter, Star Trek, and the Bernie Madoff. The Bernie Madoff costume kit comes with 3 flies which you put on your shoulder and then go as a piece of shit.

The parents of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell are upset that a New Jersey supermarket denied an order to make a birthday cake with their son's name on it. The parents are also upset that the supermarket did not carry birthday candles shaped like swastikas.