Weird Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to a dad in Des Moines, his 13-year-old son went on a biting spree at his middle school because of the movie "Twilight". The father stated that this isn’t the first time his son has emulated what he’s seen in a movie. Last year the boy was suspended for 3 weeks after watching Brokeback Mountain.

A buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "make me one with everything".

...a NY couple, into "golden showers", were arrested after a loud & vicious fight broke out in their NY apartment...each were convicted of disturbing the peace, sentenced to 69 hours of community service, and ordered by the judge to "piss & make up."

What do you call it when a couple has kinky sex and they get off while incorporating baked pastries in the bedroom?
..."Roll Playing"...

Russian Sergey Savelyev screamed at 116.8 decibels - roughly as loud as an ambulance siren - to win the individual competition. The team competition was won by the cast of The View.

You know you watch too much television when you see a comerical and say...
"Oh! That's the short version of that comerical."

The distraught granny told a local newspaper, "I can't understand it; I had no trouble obtaining a license when I lived in Florida."