West Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How many West Virginians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they don't have Eeeeelextrisssity in West Virginia.

Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

The Top 10 Reasons Not To Stay in West Virginia
& & 1. Contrary to what the lousy song says, Country Roads do NOT always take you home.
& & 2. You dream of a life that will involve a paved road.
& & 3. You grow tired of tourists stopping by, asking for directions to the state of "South Virginia", and driving off in a fit of laughter.
& & 4. You`re stuck with AM Radio... AM COUNTRY radio.
& & 5. You`ve grown tired of seeing the group "Glass Tiger" at the local Acorn Festival each year.
& & 6. The sheep won`t take your "abuse" anymore and they are planning a revolt.
& & 7. Hayrides are still limited to just 10 mph.
& & 8. The local theatre`s performance of "Les Miserables" left something, no A LOT, to be desired.
& & 9. You`ve had it with those pesky revenuers destroying your stills of "shine".
& 10. No matter how hard you try, your cows don`t appear receptive to chasing or catching that more...

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it, you will lose it" also applies to the brain.
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still a MENSA candidate. OK, relax, clear your
mind and. . . begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with
reading something more more...

Here's a story I found this week in the Charleston [West Virginia] Gazette in a column by a man named Terry Marchal. He publishes humorous things that people send to him...
There was this very delicate, proper and elegant woman who was planning a family camping vacation in Florida. She wrote to a campground for a reservation.
This woman abhorred what campgrounds refer to as "pit toilets" (known in West Virginia as outhouses) and wanted to know if the area had bathhouses with flush toilets. She didn't want to write "toilet."
Campground guides and brochures use abbreviations for camping facilities and the woman remembered something about "B.C." which, she recalled, meant "bathroom commode." So, in her letter, she wanted to know if the camping facility had a B.C.
The campground owner was unfamiliar with B.C. He showed the letter to several people. Most were baffled. One knowledgeable camper, however, said he knew what it was. She more...

Two teenage boys from West Virginia were talking.
First one says "I had my first sex last night!"
"What was it like?" The second one asked.
"Quite good, but her mum walked in on us."
"Oh, no! What did she say?"
"Moo"

Question: What does a West Virginian do when his truck breaks down?
Answer: He builds a house beside it.