Whales Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your momma so fat, when she goes to the aquarium the whales sing "WE ARE FAMILY."
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
Whales A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
A family of whales was swimming around on a nice day. Suddenly a boat with harpooners came and killed the baby whale. A few years went by and the same boat came around again. When the father whale saw it, he said that they should pay those bastards back for killing their son. He turned to the wife and said "lets go under the boat and blow as hard as we can then tip the boat over." The wife agreed, so they went under the boat and blew as hard as they could and tipped the boat over. They went back to the top adn saw all of the men swimming to rafts and grabbing life jackets. THe dad whale says "We didnt do enough to them to pay them back, lets go eat some of them now." THe wife said "now hold on a minute I agreed to the blow job but I'm not going to swallow any sea men."