Wheel Jokes / Recent Jokes
61. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning? A: Pack their lunch and send them to work. 62. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces themself. A2: Walks home. 63. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK". 64. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning? A: Fertilised. 65. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilised. 66. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door. 67. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. 68. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door. 69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was disappointed when she got her driver's license? A: The instructor gave her an "F" in sex. 70. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering? A: More head room. 71. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs? A: More leg room. 72. Q: What goes VROOM, more...
Santa was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him and stop.
Santa, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door and only then realized that there's nobody behind the wheel! The car starts very slowly.
Santa looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray, begging for his life. He hasn't come out of shock when, just before the car hits the curve, a hand appears thru the window and moves the wheel. Santa, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appears every time they are approaching a curve.
Santa, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs all the way to the nearest town. Wet and in shock he goes into a bar, asks for two shots of whiskey, and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went more...
Host Pat Sajek says that kids have learned the alphabet by watching the show. In fact, Wheel of Fortune fan Paris Hilton says that's the way she learned the alphabet--last year.
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the chaos principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are more...
Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the ward, taking corners on one wheel, and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually
joined in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper, and held it up to him.
"OK," he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him.
Harold nodded, and said, more...