Whip Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance to throw rocks across the river at Clarence. This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.

He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence? He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"

"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."

"How many are coming?"

"Just lay back and take it easy--I'll do the rest."

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

"Are you going to come again next time?"

"It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn. You'll get some!"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

"Just reach in and grab the more...

What did the Miracle Whip say when the girl opened the refridgerator?
CLOSE THE DOOR IM DRESSING!

A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer, and two young people showed up. One was a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties, and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner told them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl said, "I'll go first." She walked past the chair, the whip, and the gun and stepped right into the lion's cage. The lion started to snarl and pant and began to charge her. About half way there, she threw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her, and started licking her ankles. He continued to lick her calves, kissed them, and then rested his head at her feet.
The circus owner¡¯s mouth was on the floor. He said, "I've never seen a display like that in my more...

An Indian man was violently whipping one of his young sons. A man passing by said. "Say now!" "Why are you whipping that boy.""He lied to me." "He pushed over the out house and then told me he didn't do it."That is no reason to whip him. George Washington cut down a cherry tree and his father did not whip him to get to the truth."Yeah but, George Washington's father was not in that Cherry tree when his son cut it down."

There was a hotel that was widely known for having room service that could provide anything a person could want. A traveler there checked in and immediatly called room service.
He said " I want brought to my room, a young virgin between the ages of eighteen and nineteen with blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want four peices of rope, exactly four feet in length, and a whip. Lastly, I want a Hungarian valet, thirty years old, with a dark complexion. Hurry, because I'm tired and want to relax." About an hour later, room service called back, "Sir, We are very sorry, we have the rope and the whip. The virgin was harder to find because around here, few girls reach that age with virginity intact. We have however, found one of the rare ones and she is somewhat blonde. We are extremely sorry to tell you though, that while we could not find a Hungarian valet as you requested, we have found a Romanian one. Will that do?"
The traveler sighed. "I'm afraid not. So more...

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING, BUT AREN'T...
"Whew, that's one terrific spread!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark meat."
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist."
"Talk about a huge breast!"
"It's Cool Whip time!"
"If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!"
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"Are you going to come again next time?"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."
"How long will it take after you stick it more...