Widow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Jock's nephew came to him with a problem. "I have my choice of two women," he said, "a beautiful, penniless young girl whom I love dearly, and a rich old widow whom I can't stand." "Follow your heart; marry the girl you love," Jock counseled. "Very well, Uncle Jock," said the nephew, "that's sound advice." "By the way," asked Jock "where does the widow live?"

Many years ago when I was 23, I got married to a widow. this widow had a grown up daughter. My father fell in love with her, and soon they got married. This made my Dad my son-in-law and changed my very life. See below how:
My daughter was my mother too because she was my father's wife!
After a few years I bacame father of a baby boy complicating the matter further. My son became the brother-in-law of my father!

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldnt remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didnt remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "Im so glad you called. I remembered saying yes to someone, but I couldnt remember who it was."

An 80 year old widow went out on a blind date with a 90 year old man.
When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she appeared to be quite upset.
"What's wrong, Mom? What happened?" asked her daughter.
"I had to slap his face three times!" exclaimed the widow.
"Why? Did he get fresh?" the daughter asked.
"No," the widow answered, "I thought he was dead!"

Jock's nephew came to him with a problem. "I have my choice of two women," he said, "a beautiful, penniless young girl whom I love dearly, and a rich old widow whom I can't stand."

"Follow your heart; marry the girl you love," Jock counseled.

"Very well, Uncle Jock," said the nephew, "that's sound advice."

"By the way," asked Jock "where does the widow live?"

Once all the ants went in search of food, in that crowd of ants there was a white ant ---- why was there a white ant in that crowd while the others were red and black? Ans: because the ant was a widow.