Widow Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Illinois man left the snow filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
His wife was on a trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his motel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, she let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a total faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN. EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW. P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE!!
A woman is concerned about an elderly widow who lives in the apartment next door, since she hadn't heard anything from the widow in a few days.
Thinking it would be a good idea to check on her, she said to her son, "David, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Pinkerton is?"
Her son did as she asked and returned a few minutes later.
"Well, is she all right?" the mother asked.
"Yes, she's fine, Mom," the son replied, "but she's pretty annoyed with you."
"At me? Whatever for?" asked the mother.
"Mrs. Pinkerton told me that it's none of your business how old she is!" the son said.
It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm. The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finallyslid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby. They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a shortconversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able toconvince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in. She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe andMorey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing. Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest roomfor Abe and Morey. The next day about 10: 00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfullypulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road. Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds. Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by somechance, more...
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home
visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans
for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was
wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her
husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral.
He was troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion.
He struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the
grieving widow's wishes.
At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners
might react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully
introduced the song with words about appreciating the sense of
humor and lightheartedness of the deceased.
The widow had been very tearful during the service. Hearing the
introduction to her late husband's "favorite song" she sat up and
began to appear quite interested. As the more...
A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Vernon. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell... the nut has gone to heaven."
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? Penis envy.