Willie Jokes / Recent Jokes

"What is the plural of man, Willie?" asked the teacher.
"Men," he answered.
"And, what is the plural of child?"
"Twins," replied Willie.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Willie!
Willie who?
Willie be home for dinner!

Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town,

Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,

Along came a policeman and put him under arrest.

So never go out at night - unless you're fully dressed.

Country singer Willie Nelson was issued a misdemeanor citation after marijuana was found in his tour bus on Monday.

In other shocking news, ice cream was found in Roseanne Barr's fridge, candy was found in John Mark Karr's van, and tearing was found in Harvey Fierstein's butt.

'Twas The Night Before Impeachment, when all through the House,
All the Congress was stirring, even Conyers, the louse.
The Articles were hung by the Capitol with care,
In hopes that Saint Bubba would be trapped in the lair.
The Republicans were nestled, all smug with The Feds,
While visions of perjury danced in their heads.
And Barr with his rhetoric and Hyde with his trap,
Had just settled in for a long evening's nap.
When out in The Gulf, there arose such a clatter
They clicked on CNN to see what was the matter.
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But Tomahawk cruise missiles flying like reindeer.
With a Presidential address, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment, it must be Saint Slick!
More rapid than eagles, his supporters they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Conyers, now Gephardt, let's forget about The Vixen!
On Barney! On Maxine! I'm no more...

Wee Willie was walking with Wanda, his new girlfriend, carrying her books home from grammar school. Both were eight years old. "Wanda," said Wee Willie with worshiping gaze, "you are the first
girl I have ever loved."
"Dammit," said Wanda, "I've drawn another beginner!"

One day, this young boy and his Grandfather were fishing in a boat out on a lake. The Grandfather pulls out a beer from his cooler and starts drinking it. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa replies, "When your willie's long enough to touch your ass, then you'll be old enough and I will give you one."
A little later the Grandfather pulls out a long cigar. The boy asks "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" He replies " If your willie can touch your ass, then you can have one."
Later that day the boy pulls out a snack pack and starts eating it. The Grandfather asks, "Grandson, can I get one of those?"
The boy asks, "Can your willie touch your ass?"
The Grandfather says "Yes it can."
The boy says, "Then go screw yourself."