Windshield Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler.""I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."The general said, "Drive on!"The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!"The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The sergeant, who was driving, motioned to the back seat and said, "Brigadier."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You have to have a sticker on the windshield."
The Brigadier yelled from the back, "Drive on!"
Banta replied, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The Brigadier repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
Banta walked up to the rear window and said, "Sir, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or your driver?"

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car
was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there? ”
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, “General Wheeler. ”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You’ve got to have a sticker on the windshield. ”
The general said, “Drive on! ”
The sentry said, “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you
try driving in without a sticker. ”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on! ”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General, I’m new at this. Do
I shoot you or the driver? ”

In a recent issue of "Meat & Poultry" magazine, editors quoted from "Feathers," the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation, telling the following story: It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing. They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the