Wipes Jokes

An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another oldman sits down next to him and says, "Mister, what's theproblem?"The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I'vegot this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do ismake love from the moment I walk in the door till the momentwe go to sleep and then when we wake up again.""So, what the hell is the problem?""Mister, you don't understand... I forgot where I live!"Another oldman sits down next to him and says, "Mister, what's theproblem?"The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I'vegot this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do ismake love from the moment I walk in the door till the momentwe go to sleep and then when we wake up again.""So, what the hell is the problem?""Mister, you don't understand... I forgot where I live!"

An old man is sitting on the park bench crying. Another oldman sits down next to him and says, "Mister, what's theproblem?" The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I'vegot this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do ismake love from the moment I walk in the door till the momentwe go to sleep and then when we wake up again." "So, what the hell is the problem?" "Mister, you don't understand... I forgot where I live!"Another oldman sits down next to him and says, "Mister, what's theproblem?" The old man wipes the tears from his eyes and explains, "I'vegot this beautiful, 35 year old wife, and all she wants to do ismake love from the moment I walk in the door till the momentwe go to sleep and then when we wake up again." "So, what the hell is the problem?" "Mister, you don't understand... I forgot where I live!"

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other on a flight. Suddenly, the man sneezes, whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
Unable to believe what she just saw, the woman decides that her eyes must be playing tricks on her.
A few minutes later, the man sneezes again. He immediately whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
The woman is going nuts. She just can't believe that such a disgustingly rude person exists.
A few minutes later, the man sneezes yet again. Once more he whips out his dick and wipes the tip off.
By now the woman has had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you have sneezed and each time you have removed your penis from your pants and wiped it off. What the hell are you?"
The man replies, "I have a very rare condition that causes me to have an orgasm each time I sneeze."
"How strange," the woman says. "What are you taking anything for it?"
"Pepper," he replies.

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the dining room table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 40 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your mother caught us behind the couch making love?"
"Yes, I remember." says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband more...

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car having sex?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry more...