Wisdom Jokes / Recent Jokes
Some Words of Wisdom...
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
Few women admit their age and few men act theirs.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
LOVE: Two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Forget about world peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
WARNING: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How more...
Some Words of Wisdom...The gene pool could use a little chlorine.Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat? Few women admit their age and few men act theirs.I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.LOVE: Two vowels, two consonants, and two fools.According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.Forget about world peace...Visualize using your turn signal.WARNING: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.Give me ambiguity or give me something else.We have enough youth. How about a Fountain of Smart? Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better more...
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
Wisdom is what`s left after we`ve run out of personal opinions.
Without data, yours is just another opinion.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.
You can always find what you`re not looking for.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.
You won`t skid if you stay in a rut.
One day, a man walks into a dentists office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "Eighty dollars", says the dentist.
"That's a ridiculous amount!", the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well...", the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"
"Okay", says the dentist. "If I save on anaesthetics and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20".
"Nope, moans the man, "it's still too much!". "Well", says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10."
"Marvellous!", says the man, "Book my wife for next Tuesday."
Wisdom too often never comes, and so one ought not to reject it merely because it comes late. Felix Frankfurter
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. Doug Larson