Wisdom Jokes / Recent Jokes
C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.
Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.
PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and more...
Wisdom comes with age. Death comes with age. Therefore, wisdom is dangerous.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, then stopped at the bank to make a deposit. He went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.
Then it was already 1 P. M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, then sweep and mop the kitchen floor. He ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way more...
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
Wisdom is what’s left after we’ve run out of personal opinions.
Without data, yours is just another opinion.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.
You can always find what you’re not looking for.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.
You won’t skid if you stay in a rut.
Words of Wisdom!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. * A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. * Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. * For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. * He who hesitates is probably right. * Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. * No one is listening until you make a mistake. * Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. * The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. * The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. * The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach. * To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. * To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. * Two wrongs are only the beginning. * You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. * The problem with the gene pool is that there is no more...
Wisdom consists of knowing when to avoid perfection.
Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
Without data, yours is just another opinion.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Work may be the crabgrass of life, but money is still the water that keeps it green.
You can always find what you're not looking for.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself any time.
You can fool all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time, and that should be sufficient for most purposes.
You won't skid if you stay in a rut.