Wishes Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are visited by a genie who grants them one wish each. The Englishman wishes he was transported to a beautiful paradise. The American wishes he was rich and famous. The Frenchman wishes the Englishman and the American were back to make his mind up for him.

A man walking on the beach came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition, he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a genie actually appeared.
"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the genie.
"But there`s a catch," the genie continued. "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive double what you asked for."
First, the man wished for a Ferrari. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of him. "Now, every lawyer in the world has been given two Ferraris," said the genie.
"What is your next wish?"
"I could really use a million dollars." replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every lawyer in the world is two million dollars richer," the genie reminded the man, and then asked him for his third wish.
The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I’ve always wanted to donate a more...

A partner, associate and paralegal were stranded on a desert island where they found a lamp. A judicious rubbing revealed a genie, who promised the trio three wishes.

One day, three men are out having a relaxing day fishing, when suddenly they catch a mermaid. After hauling the mermaid up in a net, she promises that if the men set her free, she will grant each of them a wish in return. The first man doesn't believe it, so he says, "Alright, if you can really grant wishes, then double my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done," and suddenly, the first man starts to flawlessly recite Shakespeare and analyze it with extreme insight.

The second man is so amazed, he looks at the mermaid and says, "Triple my IQ." The mermaid says, "Done," and the second man starts to recite solutions to mathematical problems that have been stumping all of the scientists in various fields from physics to chemistry, etc.

The third man is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, he says to the mermaid, "Quintuple my IQ." The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I normally don't try to change more...

Little johnny was going to school.
Incredibly he found a genie and was given 3 wishes.
"Can I have a piece of candy?" he said.
"Kid, I am a powerful genie ask for something else."
"Mmmm, ok, give me 2 pieces of candy."
"You think I have time for such small wishes? Don't ask for something so small."
"I want candy."
"Ok kid here you go; infinite candy."
"Cool, thank you."
"Ok whats your second wish? Kid, i don't have all day."
"But I still have 3 wishes.."

My Christmas Wish

If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the
world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.

If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free

If I had 3 wishes this Christmas
1. Kids singing together
2. $1, 000, 000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe

If I had 4 wishes this Christmas
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1, 000, 000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 super models
and, of course, my spouse

Let's face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let's rearrange

1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money

OHHH!! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that more...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!
The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish.
The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete..how much steel...! No. Think of another wish."
The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don't care and more...