Wishes Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Belgian walked through the forest when he heard a cry for help. He found a dwarf, stuck in a trap. He freed the dwarf, and the dwarf granted him two wishes.
' My first wish' the Belgian said,' is a bottle of beer that will never be empty.'
And flash, there was the bottle. The Belgian opened it, and drank it empty. The next moment, the bottle was full again. The Belgian was very happy.
' What is your second wish? ', the dwarf asked.
The Belgian replied:' I want another bottle'
Sometime after George died, his widow, Trish, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"George thought of everything," she told a group of her friends. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside, handed me three envelopes, and said, 'Darling, I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So, I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know George is resting very comfortably," she said.
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral.' I arranged a very dignified funeral for George and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending," she more...
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."
"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for anice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."
"And the third more...
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish all the bears in the forest were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." *poof* It's done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." *poof* It's done. The bear is thinking to himself "why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things? oh well." "And for my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." *poof* It's done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I want the bear to be gay." And he rides off on his motorcycle.
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. "Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'." "What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked. "The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably." "The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending." "And the third envelope?" asked more...
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been."Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'." "What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked."The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably.""The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for anice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending.""And the third envelope?" asked her more...
There was three blondes stuck on an island when they found a lamp witch they rubbed and they each got three wishes.
The first blonde says,"i wish i was 10% smarter so i can swim off the island." so she turned into a brunette and swam off the island.
the 2nd blonde wishes she was 25% smarter so she turned into a red head and swam off the island
the 3rd blonde wishes she was 50% smarter...So she turned into a man and walked across the bridge