Witch Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up.
It was the first day of school and I had gotten a serious scrape on my knee so I asked my friend Jesse to write down notes for me while I went to the nurse.Now it was the first day of school and there were no notes written on our notebooks and neither of us had written our names on them so when I came back the next and asked him to give me back my notebooks he couldn't tell witch was mine and witch was his so we both decided that we'd take either one.Near the end of the school year Jesse got in trouble for stealing my notebook. After he got in trouble (with 3 days detention) I asked him why he stole my notebook.he showed me small note on the back of what we had thought was his notebook that had been written on the back as a joke saying "Don't tell anyone but this is my notebook" with a picture of me taped next to it.The date on the picture, August 8.
Q: What goes "Oob, oob!"
A: A witch in reverse.
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: You sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell "Boo!"
Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
A: She flies off the handle.
Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
Q: Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
A: It was his bat.
Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Put your boos and shocks on.
Mother vampire to son:
Hurry up and eat your breakfast before it clots.
Mommy, Mommy, the kids all call me a werewolf.
Never mind, dear, now go and comb your face.
Q: What did the lesbian vampire say to the other?
A: See you next month!
How do warty witches keep their hair out of place? With scare spray.
Q: Did you hear about the new ice cream for monsters?
A: It's called "Cookies and Scream."
Q: What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
A: A ghoul Yule!
Q: Where do werewolves stay when they're on vacation?
A: At the Howliday Inn!
Q: Where does the Wolfman live?
A: In a werehouse!
Q: How do zombies celebrate Halloween?
A: They paint the town dead!
Q: What oinks amd drinks blood?
A: A hampire!
Q: Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?
A: That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
Q: What's orange on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: A pumpkin in a plastic bag!
Q: What does a vampire take for a cold?
A: Coffin syrup!
Q: Where do ghost ships like to cruise?
A: In the Scare-ibbean Sea!
Q: What European capital has the most ghosts?
A: Boodapest!
Q: What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?
A: Hallowieners!
Q: What is a more...
A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.
"Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there any way you can shorten it?"
The doctor replied, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you."
So the doctor gives him directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his story.
"Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I can't get any women to have sex with me. Can you help me shorten it?"
The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I have a solution to your problem. What you have to do is go to this pond deep in the forest. In the pond, you will see a frog sitting on a log who can help solve your dilemma. First you must ask the frog, will you marry me? Each time the frog declines your proposal, your more...